06/01/2012
The sad thing is I thought I was doing so well. But most of the day I just think of you. I know that will fade eventually. But will I always feel like this when I’m sad. Will I always suffer this way. I just want to cry all the time. I am doomed and nothing good is coming. I thought I was getting over this. I know I am strong and I know I have a quiet determination to be all the things I KNOW I can be. This is just a blip. But I just feel so incredibly sad the majority of the time. How many more times can I tell myself things will change and I’ll be happy. I hate you for making me feel so weak and pathetic. I never used to be this person. Sad, depressed people will bore you and how long can you stick with that. Who will stand for that for too long. I can’t even stand it myself. You pity me and that’s what I hate the most. I don’t need your pity. This is a phase. Isn’t it. Oh please just be a phase.
